There have always been a lot of things in my life that are out of my control. While this is true for most people, I think they often make peace with this by pretending they have more control than they really do. I don’t lie to myself about this. The evil of this world has been at my doorstep since the day I was born. At the same time, there has always been a layer of existence that, when I focus on it, becomes an impenetrable Safe-place. 

In this Sanctuary, it is clear that God has always had a plan for my life. There has never been a time when my dad’s efforts to kill me would have succeeded and his efforts to mentally scar me, were desperate attempts out of understood defeat. 

All the evil I have seen has acted desperate. I cringe at the moments I’ve been fooled by its puffed up power that looks pathetic in light of the God of the universe. Hiding my face at the times I’ve given into its lies and provided reason for it to feel empowered, I see from my Fortress that I could have easily escaped. 

I could spend a lifetime trying to explain this world. Trying to capture the pure joy, safety, confidence, and strength it holds seems impossible. It’s relationship to the world I’ve always known which holds so much evil and destruction is something even more confusing. Even so, in the depths of my soul, I feel it. The moments I doubt it is real, I look at my own survival as proof. Proof my Refuge exists, and He will always claim victory.

Inspired by Proverbs 18:10-11. Lived and experienced by me.

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